Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Cookie's Boarding Guide

Dear Friends

Since I moved here less than 6 weeks ago, I have received 3 guests staying over at my apartment. Thanks for your companionship and friendship, I love to host you and want my family to enjoy having you around as much you do.

However it is extremely important for me and my family to maintain some sanity as we see our lovely guests come and go. So if your family name is not Tan or Ling, the following house rule will apply. I humbly asked that you agree to the following T&C before you make any application:

  1. Unless you are someone who survive on air and water, pls do not apply if you have a daily budget of £2. While we are not looking for any financial benefits of your stay, we are not quite prepared to finance your holiday (i.e. 3 meals a day+free chauffering+whatever you have in mind).

  2. Though we are not running a B&B (Bed and Breakfast), we are more than happy to have you join us for some home-cooked meals. When you do get invited, you are not expected to bring wine or flowers, but it won't hurt if you offer to wash the dishes after the meal. Even a simple gesture of bringing the empty plates to the basin will be greatly appreciated by all of us at home. We have no maid. Period.

  3. You know, this is a home. Not a hotel. I do not mind staying up a little if you are arriving late. But what would you do if you have a guest who tells u she is arriving at 2am (and still subject to train delay), and it is a weekday night when you and your child need to leave home at 7am.

If you think I am too petty or too mean to make these requests, I will gladly help you to book a hotel. I'll probably lose a friend or a relative, but whatever it takes to keep a sound mind!


Anonymous said...

It's good to lay down the rules now before things get worse. we had house guests who expected us to make breakfasts for them (like their maids back home) and asked for noodles while I was trying to get my kids to school. Then there's the numerous times we have waited hours outside the tube station, illegally parked,to pick people up. At the end of the day, you are not running a hotel and you have your lives to live. It's time you enjoy your stay in London!

Chris said...

Very simple rules and anyone who is sensible can abide by them. Of course there will be those who will blatantly take advantage of your hospitality. Must be a lack of upbringing or just plain dumbness. I applaud that you brought this to light!

dk said...


Cookie said...

Thanks for sharing your experience.

In my case, it is already to a point of becoming sour. The recent one was a relative who insisted on arriving ahead of schedule, meaning i had to forgo my Eurostar tickets to Paris so that I can receive her. Then she changed her schedule again to arrive at 2am, and when i decided I will not accomodate further - she went around posting nasty insinuations on Facebook!

This is the family has never once visit us when we are back in SG. so I do not see the need to provide free lodging, and dancing to her every whims and fancies! And her comments do not bother me a wee bit!

It is my poor parents and sister who have to put up with their snide comments.

Sadly common sense these days does not come common to many. I am so sick of being taken for ride by people who are 没家教.

Fren, dun laugh. When I go back I will tell more horror stories about these people. Unbelievable! 跟这些人做亲戚真难!

Art of Eating said...

So sad ! buay zhi dong and inconsiderate ... and taking you & your family for granted.

It's always nice to have someone from fellow home country to visit but not the way it turn out so bad. Ugly home men ... huh :(

MaryMoh said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your experience. I think it takes a lot of wisdom and courage to say 'no'. I have also experienced it before. It's not easy. Maybe you can buy those cheap disposable cutleries and some ready meals so that you have more time for yourself. Asda, Sainsbury and Tesco have good, cheap ready meals. The guests can just heat up the food themselves. London is very centralised so you will probably end up with more guests every now and then. That was what happened to me when I stayed in Kuala Lumpur for 1+ year. It's worse when our kids are young ad our guests are not understanding. I was just so tired most of the time. Hope you enjoy your stay in London.

Blessed Homemaker said...

I like the way you lay down your rules. I've heard so much about dealing with relatives and stuff, it's never easy to say no.

Just a wild thought, for those who doesn't read your blog, you may want to print out a copy of this and hand it to them to read if they come uninvited :P

Cookie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cookie said...

I do look forward to visitors, it is unfortunate that after each bad experience, the enthusiam diminish little by little.

I am staying at the service apartment which only has a tiny bar fridge like those in hotel room. So you can guess how many ready meals i can store there.

In 1 case, the guest asked me to heat up the food for her cos "at-home-her-maid-do-everything"

After showing her how to use the microwave, the 2nd & 3rd time she still say she dun know. After that, I cleared out all the balance food in the fridge!

And told her "restaurant is just downstairs".

I was so sick of their take-for-granted attitude that I dun feel like playing host anymore.

These days J and I r alot more selective about we'll host - that works out well for us... and I haven't got a headache for the last 2 weeks.


Blessed Homemaker
I was just so frustrated at that time, and writing is good... i felt like i got the burden off after blogging it.

Even if they dun read, it serves as a reminder for me... and that helps me to say NO.

This is the issue with some of us; we grumble, then forget, and repeat the same mistake, and end up grumbling again!

There's no way they can come uninvited - I have been moving so much in London. Am in the 4th apartment (in 2 mth) liao!!! On the hindsight, moving house is a good trick agh!

Blessed Homemaker said...

I know what you mean, it's good to get if off the chest. I hope you are adapting well in London.